GWARRRR!

Is it too late to return Cheyenne? If I released her back into the wild... do you think her instincts would kick back in & she'd make it? ... UUUUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH. Not like I would ever do either of those things, but days like today the thought has crossed my mind.

Not that it's really her fault, you get out of it what you put into it... & let's face it, I haven't put much work into her lately. Not like I want to start a list of excuses but it really is near impossible to give her the time she needs between school, work, interning, and writing my thesis. The daylight hours aren't long enough & there's not enough light to ride at night. Hopefully with daylight savings coming up in two weeks I can get in a few more rides each week. (or any at all!)

I guess I can blame the combination of my own failing to be consistent, CRAZY weather (unbelievably windy and gross, like almost knock you off your feet windy... where everything is blowing around and making strange noises... horses LOVE it. You know the kind?), getting dark, and failure to lunge before mounting. Any one of the aforementioned issues could have spelled disaster I suppose.

I knew she was going to be a pain when she REFUSED to stand still for me to mount. The saddle ended up sideways on her, luckily that didn't spook her. It's times like today I'm thankful for my 14 something hand pony, because so help me God if I had to chase her around with a mounting block to get on. She was just funky & spooky & REFUSED to trot. I'm talking threw one of those idiot tempertantrums she used to throw a year ago when I first got her. Shaking her head, turning to nip, kicking out, swinging her butt around... just about anything you can imagine (short of bucking or rearing, THANK GOD!) to irritate me. Her new thing is just stopping when you ask for a trot. I swear to God she's laughing at me "Yup lady, keep trying... I can stand here ALLLLLLL day." Needless to say we spent a LOT of time walking in circles today.

Maybe I don't know when to pick my battles. When I ask for a trot I expect it. I'm not just going to give up because she's being a cranky pants. But to that end we spent a lot of wasted energy over what seemed like nothing. I did get two trots out of her... but only two when I asked probably about... say 400 times. I have such a hard time not being angry at her. Not that I'd ever hurt her but my first reaction is always wanting to yank her head around or exaggerate whatever I'm doing to let her know "I'M ANGRY." but I know it will do no good.

I do feel like I'm a fairly confident rider, but I feel like she may need a little more work then I am able to do on my own. That being said I don't have the money to put professional training into her. This month makes a year since I've had her. She came a long way FAST, but I feel like the past four months we've plateaued. She will walk all day for you, steer perfectly, stop on a dime, circle, OPEN GATES... but ask her to trot & holy hell it's the END of the world. The worst part is I know she knows EXACTLY what I'm asking for, she's just being stubborn because she's lazy & doesn't want to work. How do I fix stubborn? Hell I'm stubborn too but I still haven't grasped the art of making a thousand pound animal move when she's decided she is having NONE of it.

*sigh* Next time will be better, it always gets better. I do love her, more then anything! But she makes me CRAZY some days!